just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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