yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Everything about him screamed your future.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
