We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
