Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you would pick up someone in the library
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
