and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
