I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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