i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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