I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
