You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
