All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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