Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
