You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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