We got so high we made milksteak
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
