I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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