Your face is a jimmy john
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
