we're blogging at a bar
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
