i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize