worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
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