anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
