Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
