i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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