Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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