I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
