Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
