oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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