I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
