tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
