If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
