Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
