cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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