I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
