I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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