I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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