I think I am morally bankrupt
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
