is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Someone came in the potted fern
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
