I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
