i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
