dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
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You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
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I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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