I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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