just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Damn victory sex feels great
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
