He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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