how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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