"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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