is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I checked into jail on foursquare
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
