Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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