Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
