i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
