my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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