I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
