life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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