at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
