Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
