Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
