dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
