Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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